"30 Years; Why Am I Still Here?"

After 30 years of hundreds of lessons, thousands of hours of practice, songs, rehearsals, gigs, and on and on- how do I stay motivated, enthused? What keeps it alive for me?
I can answer that very easily:

I am still open to the power of music.

LISTENING: I can't imagine life without hearing music. It is such an integral part of my life that I would be utterly lost without it. Music still has the power to make me smile, laugh, cry, jump up and down, whoop and holler- I am constantly amazed that this continues to be true, but there it is. Hardly a week goes by that I don't hear something that that gets me excited; if there's nothing new, then it might be the unexpected re-discovery of some music I haven't heard in years- and the incredible experience of being transported back to the time when I first heard it, re-experiencing all the emotions and excitement.
Besides that, I have always been open-minded and willing to expose myself to any and all styles of music; at the least, I get educated! At best, I get new delight and inspiration. With this attitude, you are never lacking for new, refreshing, different, exciting and inspiring music to listen to. Check out my Ben's Picks page for some examples of my eclectic taste in music.

PLAYING: I am still in love with the sound of wires and wood. The joy of guitar playing has never left me, although I've had my periods of discouragement and yes, even despair. I have made it a point to study, practice and perform in a wide range of styles, which gives me the pleasure of being able to move easily from nylon string to steel string acoustic to electric. They each have their distinctive delights. My CD, FIRST LIGHT, exemplifies this. When I'm playing, I go into timelessness- I become one with my instrument.

WRITING: It is immensely gratifying to complete a composition, record it and listen back. Surprisingly, I have had to work at giving myself permission to take the time to do it! Does that sound strange? Maybe not. I get caught in the same "virtue trap" that most people do- i.e.: creative work gets put on the back burner because it doesn't generate income or get your job done. But as I have allowed myself to put more time and effort into it, I have discovered something: this is it! This is what was missing in all my years of study and professional work- an outlet for creative self-expression. I have come to feel that it is now essential for me to keep writing and recording if I hope to continue to thrive and grow in my chosen career.

INTERACTING: Playing with other like-minded musicians is another thing that keeps me going. I have been fortunate- throughout my career I have always managed to hook up with talented, professional musicians who have a sense of humor, perspective, and good ears. With my newest trio, devoted to writing and playing original jazz-fusion with a lot of improvisation, I am experiencing three-way musical communication at a level I've never known before, and it is a thrilling experience I feel blessed to be a part of. When I'm playing with Frank and Angel, I'm thinking, "this is what I was meant to do."

REACHING THE LISTENER: I don't write and play just to gratify my own ego. I am always trying to create a musical statement that I hope will not just reach the listener, but take them somewhere, affect them, hopefully in a positive way. This is a big reason I am interested in instrumental music- the absence of vocals frees the listener's mind to react to the music with his own imagination, or simply at a deep emotional level. But there's more:

Instrumental music is especially good at overcoming barriers- such as barriers of race, country, language, religion. Music really is a universal language, and the presence of music is a constant reminder that there are intangible forces far more powerful than those of the material, physical world. I hope that my music by its very existence and hopefully by its content, will be a message of compassion, peace, freedom and love. Sound corny, sentimental, pie in the sky? Well you asked, why am I still here? I have tried to answer.

Your comments welcome!