Look Inside My Mind
When I got serious about guitar in the late 70's-early 80's, it was a time of aggressive, hot-shot guitar playing (see the April 2001 issue of Guitar Player for a great feature on guitarists of the 80's). People like Van Halen and Randy Rhoads were all over the radio, and countless imitators were lined up trying to cash in. The world of jazz-fusion was also overflowing with virtuosity. I was totally into it. I was particularly blown away by Jeff Beck, Al Dimeola,Steve Morse and Allan Holdsworth, among others, but I listened to everybody and everything and absorbed it all like a hungry sponge. I practiced my fingers to the bone. I studied classical guitar by day, and played in rock bands by night.
By the early 90's, technical brilliance had become passe, being a guitar god was just pretentious. The 90's became a rebound back to minimalism in composition and musicianship. Was this a good thing or bad?
Through it all, I struggled with the issue of originality. In the 90's I started to wonder what I really wanted to do- I had come up playing macho rock and roll, with all the technique and showmanship that went along with it, and it was a lot of fun. But I felt increasingly drawn toward instrumental jazz-rock-fusion, and I eventually decided to do an album, FIRST LIGHT, and I formed a new group to play my music.
Even so, in these last few years, I have had to deal with periods of extreme frustration, dis-satisfaction and worry over just where my future lay as a musician. And every time, I get myself back on track by answering the question,
Recently, my feelings on this issue have become more clearly focused. I need to play, yes, but I need to be playing up to my potential, with musicians who will challenge me, push me, doing music that is exciting and stimulating for me.
Jazz and jazz-fusion has continued to grow stronger in my heart and soul, and I really want to devote myself to it more fully. So to that end, I have renewed my commitment to my trio, the Ben Sherman Group. It went dormant for a while, but my drummer and bass player, Frank and Angel, never lost the faith. Our times playing together have always been exhilarating, with all of us improvising and pushing each other to our limits and beyond. They have always been there, patiently waiting for me to figure my head out, reminding me that they are on my wavelength, they believe we have something special, and they are still ready to go. And so we are now rehearsing in preparation for recording a new CD in March! My gratitude goes out to you guys.
In addition, I am doing what I can to be more available for other interesting and challenging jazz-fusion situations. One has already come up- I recently played a gig at Blues Alley in Washington D.C. with trumpeter Ivan Smart, featuring an outstanding line-up of great local jazz-fusion players. The gig went very well, and more dates and a recording session are in the works. Thanks Ivan!
I am also studying jazz from a number of excellent books and magazines, trying to learn what I can from the rich tradition of this music and figure out how it fits in with my own approach. Life was easy when it was boring!
Economically, I do have to balance the value of doing these kind of things against the need to make money and pay my mortgage! I will still be gigging locally on a regular basis, which will continue to be announced on the Gigs page on this website. Balance is the key word- and the positive effect of doing more jazz/fusion definitely balances out the lack of financial security that is, for better or worse, a fact of life in this business. Overall, I'm feeling blessed.
I admit, it seems to take me a long time to figure out what is probably obvious to others, but, oh well, that's me and my neuroses. Thanks to all of you who have hung in there, writing in, listening and supporting my efforts- I truly appreciate it! And special thanks to Susan Tegeler for helping me remember the question, and its answer.
Your comments welcome!
"why did you become a musician in the first place?" And the answer is always the same-
I like to play!
Period. Exclamation point! When I'm playing guitar is when I am the happiest. I am far better at it, and enjoy it much more than any of the other aspects of being a musician I try to be involved with, including writing, recording and especially more than the business side. I have and will continue to do my best in those areas, but the fact is that what I need most is to play, and playing is what I'm going to do. 